How I saved 100 dollars on a Prostate Biopsy
66How I saved $100 on a Prostate Biopsy
(True, somewhat humorous but NOT for the faint at heart)
So I go to the doctors about Two and a half years ago for my check-up, a Physical today is simply a blood test, a urine test and a blood pressure test, yup, that’s it.
I was told that my PSA was a bit high, (Not too unusual for a man like me who was in his 60’s), and they referred me to a specialist. I go to him, real nice guy, very informative. He gives me the usual digital check and the rundown of some possible scenarios, I can forget it and continue to monitor it, I can get a Prostate Biopsy or if it’s Cancer I could suddenly die, ok, I opt for the Biopsy. I think, silly me, he has already been in one of my most private areas, how much more could he do?.....Silly me.
Finally the day I had been waiting for, a process I knew nothing about and considering what the results could be, I was scared, very scared. What I did joke about with this to my male friends after this visit was about the period of time I spent mostly naked, sitting on the table in front of the tray with “The Towel” on it. There was something under the towel and I kept wanting to look, I did not….In the future and I told my friends this later…..LOOK UNDER THE TOWEL, you need to know what is going to enter your body through that “Special” place and not be so shocked at the last minute…..
Back to the procedure….In comes the doctor and asks if I’m ready, what am I going to , “NO’?....I said “Yea”, let’s get this over with…..Well, the only conversation we had during this 15 -20 minutes was, him informing me that this is going to sting a little and my response was “Oh man” you ‘%&**Fu^%$#@@!!, each time. The little sting was like being strapped into the Electric chair, having the voltage applied and wishing that after all the jumping, twitching and blacking out was that you would die, but you don’t, not the first time, the second time or the 15th. And last time, this was the quantity of samples he needed.…….I saw the White light many times and I think I went in and out a coma quite often, I just don’t remember. Well, to make this part a bit short, thank God all was fine and no Cancer…..
Last year, once again some of the same results after some lab tests and he explains to me that due to my age, almost Two years older, I need to take this seriously and should probably do the Prostate Biopsy again. I’m thinkin’ this guy is crazy but I then think about the options and doing it again was the right choice. He explained to me that he was going to take 21 samples this time, well, I whined like I usually do and he gave me an option, for $100 dollars they can numb the area….Hmmmm….How were they going to do that I thought, somehow they were going to get to my Prostate with a needle and numb it!...Geez I thought, this just gets better all the time. He explained to me that if they gave me the one shot that I would not feel the 21, now that seemed like winning the lottery, ok I said but I had to figure out how to get a hundred dollars…..Well, my wife with her caring ways told me to set it up and pay the hundred and that is what we did. The nurse, on the way out gave me the usual paper that told me how to prepare for the procedure because with this added shot, there were some precautions….I could not eat before the procedure……
The day of the procedure came, oh, goody, I check in, pay my hundred dollars to the receptionist and she verifies that I followed directions, I sure did. I get into the area where I am again stripped and laid on a rolling bed, asked if I had followed the directions, you bet was my reply. As the 15-30 minute wait went by I felt so good about all the concern for me and if I had followed my directions, this was very important, and I did follow them…..Everyone in that room asked me if I had followed the directions including the Janitor and the person in the next bed, I really felt good…..Finally, the doctor shows up and asks if I had the shot yet and we all told him “No” because we were waiting for him, he replied ‘Good” lets get it going and proceeds to ask me if I followed the directions and did I eat anything, I said I followed the directions and only had the light Breakfast the sheet stated I could have….Opps, what do you mean you ate something?...I followed the directions which he asked to see, hmmm, wrong sheet, yup…..Now we have a decision to be made, go home and schedule another visit because you can not get this shot if you ate something, he verified they gave me the wrong information and said my other choice was to just continue like the last time with no pain reliever. I was not going to reschedule this, it was too stressful, I said, lets do this darn thing now and get it over with…….We did. I don’t know if they changed the process, the equipment or my Prostate was gone but it was much less painful then the previous time……The results, once again, thank God were fine and they refunded my hundred dollars.
Last month I went to my family doctor, the usual blood test, urine test and conversation, I get the results, higher then normal PSA, again and blood in my urine……Damn, another referral to the only person that knows me better then my wife. This time he elects to do a Cat-Scan on my bladder and to come to his office for another test that will allow him to put a tube up into my Bladder for a much better look…..Yup, you guessed it, the only entrance for that is through my “Pee” hole……Now this is really got me excited…..
What are they going to think of next? I did convince the doctor to buy me flowers, dinner and go to a movie; after all, it is going to be our Third anniversary…
Let’s hope for the best.
